Accessing respite as a parent carer
Being a parent means you play a lot of roles, and if you are a parent caring for a child with additional needs, the challenges you face are naturally even more complex.
It can be tricky at times to prioritise your own wellbeing when focused on caring for your child, but taking care of yourself as a parent carer is hugely important. Looking after yourself means you can sustain your caring role in the long term, and one way to do this is by accessing respite care.
Perhaps you have never considered the importance of respite care in this way? Perhaps you’re wondering what respite might look like, or are considering how you might access respite for yourself? Our article on accessing respite as a parent carer walks you through what respite care could mean for you and your family.
Respite care, or short break care, is time away from your caring role, so you can rest and recharge. Respite care sometimes involves someone else stepping into your caring role for a while, taking care of your child so you can book time away to relax and re-energise. At other times, it might be that your child enjoys a short break or receives residential care outside the home. This gives them the opportunity to have some fun and socialise with others their own age, as well as giving you as their carer some time to relax. In every situation, respite is about creating a positive experience for everyone involved.
It can be useful to view respite as a crucial component of your parent carer toolkit, there to support your ongoing health and wellbeing, and enabling you to care for your child most effectively.
Accessing respite care doesn’t always seem easy for parent carers, and you might be feeling this, especially if you are a parent to other children. However, respite is an important form of self-care, allowing you to make sure your own physical and emotional health needs are met. Time away can support you in feeling better able to balance your caring role with other life commitments and relationships, like nurturing your other children, or spending time developing your own creative goals.
Some carers share that where they might have felt lonely or isolated in their caring role, respite was a crucial element of their support network. It helped them feel more connected to others and less alone in their experience, as well as providing important points of contact if ever emergency respite was needed.
So respite is important for everyone, and even if it might seem tricky to imagine how you could make this work as a family right now, there are small steps you can take to ensure you are factoring in little pockets of time to rest, recharge and enjoy quality time as a family outside of your day-to-day roles.
Other types of respite
There are a wide range of ways to access respite which are designed to help you to recharge your batteries and look after your own needs. It is important that you find ways to access respite in ways that work for you, your child and your family.
You might access respite independently or through a service, and this respite can vary in length, from a couple of hours each week, to a weekend, or even several weeks at a time.
Support inside your own home through a paid care attendant or sitting service, or through asking a trusted friend or family member to step in, can give you a break and allow you to dedicate time to another child or have time for yourself.
A day trip or family holiday where a key element is extra support available for the caring tasks could also mean you are able to enjoy quality time as a family in new ways. Our article on Days out for parent carers has more information if you're considering taking a trip.
Depending on the age of your child and the services on offer in your area, befriending schemes mean a trained volunteer takes your child somewhere they would enjoy, like a concert or other fun activity, leaving you time to do something different.
Other parent carers also say that joining local parent forum groups, where you can meet other parents of children with additional needs, can also be very comforting and useful in terms of feeling relaxed and recharged.
There is no one way to define what respite means for you, but the essential element is that you have time to take a breath, feel like yourself again and return feeling more rested and refreshed.
Overnight breaks
If you are considering an overnight break, there are a number of organisations, like CareFree breaks, which offer overnight respite services for parent carers. There is more information about them and how this might work for you on our website here.
What is emergency respite?
If you were suddenly unable to provide care for your child for whatever reason, perhaps due to health reasons, a family emergency or accident, emergency respite would be available. Emergency respite is short term care, and although it is not strictly ‘respite’ for you as the carer, it is designed so that someone else would step into your caring role and your child would continue to receive the care they need.
You might have already drawn up an emergency care plan, with a named contact who would be ready to take over if you were unable to be there. Talking through options with your family and your care team can be a good idea, and bring peace of mind to everyone. Our article on Emergency Care Planning goes into more detail and supports you in drawing up your own simple emergency care plan.
Finding the right respite for you
Accessing respite as a parent carer may never feel easy as you can never simply switch off from your role as a parent, and sometimes it might be difficult to find the appropriate respite services that fit with your child, their personality and unique needs. In these cases, thinking more broadly about what respite could look like for you and your family, can be useful.
A weekend break might seem like a long way off, but micro-respite opportunities, like scheduling in time to go to the gym, simply reading a book, or meeting other parent carers for a cup of tea and a chat, might feel more possible. These small, short breaks can lift your energy and mood and provide you with important feelings of connection and refreshment, and scheduling them in on a regular basis can actually be more beneficial in the long term than waiting for a whole week away every year.
Creating strong networks through inviting family and friends to help on a regular basis, making the most of afterschool clubs and seeking professional support, can all help you access vital time to spend outside of your caring role. Local support groups can also offer opportunities for you to connect with others in a similar position and enjoy social activities designed especially for you as a parent carer.
It’s also worth highlighting that many parent carers share that thinking about taking time for themselves can make them feel guilty, as if they are somehow being disloyal to their child, or implying that they don’t care. This is perfectly normal and it is important to balance out those feelings with the recognition that taking time for rest not only benefits you but your child and whole family too. Our article on Carer’s guilt goes into more depth on this, and will help you understand that those thoughts and feelings should never hold you back from taking breaks and accessing respite when you need it.
Accessing respite support
If you’re thinking about accessing respite, a helpful first step can be to request a Parent Carer Needs Assessment. This is completed by your local authority who will talk to you about your caring role and your particular needs as a parent carer. They can also help by recommending respite activities that might be appropriate for you and your family situation, and connecting you to local support groups and helpful organisations. Our article on Preparing for a Parent Carer Needs Assessment goes into more detail.
Funding respite
As part of your Parent Carer Needs Assessment, you will be told whether there is any financial support to fund respite through your local authority. Provision does vary from area to area, so if there isn’t financial support directly available, there may be other ways for you to access respite, and your council will be able to share advice and connect you with the right organisations. You may also be able to access help to fund respite care through your GP and social prescribing team, your local carer organisation, or through a respite service, like Carefree Breaks.
Respite for young carers and siblings
If you have another child who supports by caring for their sibling, they could be eligible for respite too. This might be through weekly activities, days out, residential breaks and holidays (with or without you as their parent) and through joining young carer groups.
As you come to recognise the importance of respite, you may also be interested in our monthly Self Care for Carers online programme that invites you to pause, reflect and share with other carers what it is like to be a carer, how it impacts your life and what you can do to care more for yourself.
Scheduling respite and regular time to relax and enjoy yourself is vital, not only for you but for everyone in your family, ensuring you maintain your balance and feel able to thrive whilst caring for a child with additional needs.