Hearing loss is a common problem. There are thought to be more than 12 million people in the UK with some degree of hearing impairment – that’s about 1 in 5 adults. And this is only set to get worse, with more than 14.2 million people expected to experience it by 2035. [1]
Hearing loss can be frustrating for both you and for the person you care for. Your friend or relative could find it hard not being able to understand everything that is happening, and it is common for people with hearing loss to become angry, confused and withdrawn. But it is also challenging for you as their carer. It can take a great deal of patience to speak slowly, repeat yourself regularly and know that you will sometimes go unheard.
It could also be the first time you are caring for your friend or relative, or indeed the first time you have been a carer for anyone. And although some carers say they appreciate the chance to spend more time with their friend or family member, it can also be very demanding looking after someone.
To help you with this rewarding but challenging role, we have provided advice and guidance on a range of relevant topics.
When people start to experience hearing loss, it can be common for them to avoid seeking an official diagnosis for what might be causing it. Some people don’t want to confront the problem. Others mistakenly think that there is simply nothing that can be done or that their hearing getting worse is just a normal part of getting older.
If your friend or relative is in denial about their hearing loss, it can sometimes be difficult for you to know that they have a problem. Some things to look out for include them finding it hard to follow a conversation or occasionally saying things that seem a bit strange or don’t seem to follow on from what you were talking about. They may sometimes not respond when you speak to them or ask you to repeat yourself regularly. They may have the radio or TV on far louder than you would normally find comfortable. They may say that the problem is with you, for instance telling you that you mumble or speak too quietly, or they may start speaking either too quietly or too loudly themselves. You might find these signs seem more apparent when they are out and about in noisy places, and could be less obvious when you are with them in a quiet environment like their house.
It is crucial to seek advice from a medical professional if you suspect there may be an issue with their hearing. If the hearing loss is sudden, or only in one ear, then it is particularly important that you seek help quickly. Call 111 and they will be seen by an Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) specialist within 24 hours. If it is a more gradual hearing loss, then it is still important to seek advice from a GP as soon as possible. The doctor will be able to carry out some basic hearing and ear checks, and then refer them for more specialist hearing tests if needed.
Some hearing loss is only temporary, and it could well be caused by something which is easily treated like a build up of earwax or an ear infection. Even in cases where the hearing loss is permanent, there are still often options available to help such as hearing aids or hearing implants.
Following a hearing test, a specialist will decide whether their hearing is sufficiently affected for them to be registered as deaf or hard of hearing. If it is, they will provide them with a copy of their audiogram. This shows how well they can hear across high and low frequencies and will say whether they have a mild, moderate, severe or profound level of deafness.
You can then contact their local social services team and ask for them to be officially registered as deaf or hard of hearing. They will ask to see a copy of the audiogram as proof. This will also allow them to work out which of three levels your friend or relative should be registered as:
- Deaf with speech.
- Deaf without speech.
- Hard of hearing.
Official registration isn’t compulsory, but it can help them to access support, including a wide range of benefits.
You may find that your friend or relative is still able to carry on with most of their everyday tasks, such as cooking and cleaning, as usual. They will likely need additional support with some specific household activities though, and more generally with everything in their life that involves communication.
To identify tasks around the home where additional help may be required, it can be worth thinking through everything that you might rely on your ears for on a day-to-day basis. Common amends that need to be made are things like introducing a visual or vibrating doorbell, setting up their television to include subtitles and getting them an amplified telephone.
Alongside this, the primary support you will need to give will be helping them to communicate in their day-to-day life. They may struggle to understand other people when they are speaking, and even find it difficult to speak themselves.
If they are willing, you could help by enrolling them on a lip-reading or a sign language course. You could even go along with them and learn some yourself.
Small changes in the way you speak to them can also make a big difference to how much they are able to understand. Make sure you are always in the same room, are facing them and are in plenty of light when you speak. Stay still, make sure your hands aren’t in front of your face, and don’t eat, chew gum or smoke when you are talking. Speak clearly and slowly, but don’t shout or exaggerate your mouth movements as that can actually make lip-reading harder. It can also help to subtly get their attention before you start talking to them, to give them a chance to focus their attention on listening. You could say their name, catch their eye, give them a little wave or gently touch them on the arm. If they don’t hear you the first time you say something, rather than repeating the same phrasing louder, try saying it in different words or simpler sentences. And if there are some really crucial pieces of information you need to be sure they have fully understood, then make sure you also provide them in writing.
Another important thing you can do as their carer is to assist them to understand what is happening around them as much as possible. When they are in group situations, it can help if you sit near them and keep them filled in on any information they miss in the conversations. Try educating other people who deal with them on a regular basis, such as their family or friends, on basic ways of speaking more clearly for them. And you could even try and advocate on their behalf when you feel their needs are not being met by a professional, including requesting that they amend their services to better meet the person you care for's needs.
For more specific advice about tasks that you might need to provide support with, take a look at our guide 'Helping someone with everyday tasks'. If the person you are caring for is an older person, you may find the guide 'Caring for someone who is frail and elderly' useful too, or if they also have problems with their sight, then take a look at our guide 'Caring for someone who is deafblind'.
Alongside the normal, day-to-day events, you will occasionally encounter things that are out of the ordinary. Although it is not always easy to plan for these, it can still help to learn more about them in advance so that you feel more prepared. This will help you to stay calm and feel in control in what can sometimes be very stressful situations.
There are a number of important amends that need to be made for someone with hearing loss in an emergency situation. For example, if you worry that they may not be able to hear a smoke alarm in the event of a fire, it is a good idea to install an alternative alarm with a strobe light and vibrating pad for under their pillow or mattress.
Also, if you think they would struggle to talk to someone on the other end of the phone if they needed to call 999, you could set them up with a service called Relay UK. This is an alternative way to contact the emergency services by text. It can take a little while to set up, so it should be done in advance. Don’t leave it until there is an emergency happening. Just text ‘register’ to 999 from their mobile phone, and they will receive more information and instructions about how to use the service.
You can also take a look at our guide 'Planning for emergencies as a carer' for further information.
It is very common to worry about the financial implications of looking after someone, and it can be confusing to understand the support that is available and how you can access it. The good news is we have got a full and comprehensive guide to everything from benefits to grants in our 'Getting financial support as a carer' guide.
Caring for someone with hearing loss can be a big responsibility, but many people are still able to combine this role with paid external work as well. If you want to be able to do both, take a look at our guide 'Working when you are caring' for advice on how to manage this balance successfully.
Caring for someone with hearing loss can significantly affect your relationship with that person. You may be used to just being their partner, son, daughter, sibling, grandchild or friend. You could be more used to them looking after you, rather than the other way around. Becoming their carer can therefore be a big adjustment for you both.
It can even be difficult to accept that you actually are their 'carer'. This can especially be the case if their hearing has deteriorated slowly over a long period and you have taken on more caring responsibilities a little bit at a time.
Sometimes caring for someone with hearing loss can improve your relationship with them. Some carers find that they become closer with the person they care for through spending more time with them. In many cases, however, it can put new strains on your relationship. This can be particularly pronounced when caring for someone with hearing loss as they could well struggle with communication, making misunderstandings between you more likely.
Alongside this, becoming a carer can also have an impact on all of the other relationships in your life too, both positively and negatively.
For advice and support on ways to manage these changes, take a look at our guide 'How your relationships can change when you become a carer'.
As a carer it is common to prioritise the person you care for’s needs over your own. But it is vital that you make sure you also look after yourself. Not only are your own needs important in themselves, you also need to stay well so that you can keep looking after your friend or relative too. Take a look at our 'Looking after yourself as a carer' guide for advice on how to keep yourself well.
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