Looking after your mental health as a carer for someone with a mental health condition
When caring for a family member or friend, there may be times when you find yourself putting the needs of the person you support over your own. Looking after your mental health is an important part of maintaining a safe and sustainable caring role. This video discusses some of the ways carers can look after their own mental health.
When caring for someone with a mental health condition, it isn’t uncommon for carers to put the needs of the person they support first and lose sight of their own needs. Over time, this can have a negative impact on a carer’s wellbeing. When looking after someone who has a mental health condition, helping them to manage difficult thoughts or emotions and supporting them through high and low periods in their condition can be big parts of the caring role. This can leave carers feeling like they are on this journey with the person they support, and often empathise with the emotional challenges they are experiencing. It is therefore important for carers to ensure that they have time to look after their own mental health needs to ensure they are able to support them without the caring role impacting their own mental health long term.
In this article we explore what we mean by the term ‘mental health’, the challenges carers for someone with a mental health condition may experience when looking after their own mental health and steps carers can take to look after their mental health whilst supporting someone else with theirs.
What do we mean by mental health?
Mental health is the term used to describe someone’s psychological, emotional and social wellbeing. It encompasses how effectively someone is able to manage day to day life, cope with challenges, learn new things and have positive relationships with others. Having good mental health isn’t about being positive all of the time but is about being able to control and process difficult emotions, enjoy positive experiences and make good choices. Maintaining good mental health is one part of wellbeing.
The difference between mental health and mental illness?
Often mental health is confused with mental illness however, the two are very different. In the same way we all have physical health, we all have mental health and there are a number of things we can do to manage, improve and maintain it. On the other hand, a mental illness (also referred to as a mental health problem or condition) is something which affects a person’s ability to maintain their mental health and wellbeing. An individual with a mental health condition may rely on medication, therapy, or support to help them to maintain their mental health.
It’s worth mentioning that you can have periods of poor mental health without having a mental health condition. This is because your mental health can continuously change depending on your physical health, lifestyle and personal circumstances. However, if you feel that you are struggling to maintain your mental health and it is having an impact on your daily life, we recommend getting in touch with your GP.
Why is it important to look after your own needs as a carer?
When caring for someone else, there may be times where you are not able to think about looking after your own wellbeing. Many carers tell us that when things are tough, they often lose sleep, don’t eat enough or experience symptoms of their own health conditions. These can often become factors which impact their mental health. A person’s mental health can also be impacted by:
- A physiological reason like a vitamin deficiency or hormonal imbalance.
- A medical reason like an illness or infection.
- Burnout or fatigue (lack of sleep or rest).
- Family or home circumstances including a stressful job, strained relationships with others or a difficult life event (present or past).
- Drug or alcohol use.
- Finances and poverty.
Looking after your own needs as an individual can help to ensure that these factors do not affect your mental health long term. Meeting your own needs regularly can also help to identify when things aren’t right more quickly, meaning that you can start to address an issue when it arises and avoid burnout.
What can you do to maintain your mental health?
Good mental health and wellbeing looks different for everyone and so when thinking about maintaining your wellbeing, a helpful first step could be understanding what good mental health looks like for you. This can help you to identify your psychological, emotional or social needs and recognise what types of wellbeing activities will help you to feel most rested or recharged.
A big part of looking after our mental health is about identifying what works for us as individuals. Wellbeing activities do not work for everyone in the same way as they can depend on what you gain from a particular activity. For example, having a bath or reading a good book can help you to relax or rest, whilst catching up with a friend might help you feel more connected to those around you. Identifying what your need might be or what wellbeing activity would be most useful can help you to gain the most from the time you take for you. It is important to take this time even when things are tough as it can help you to avoid experiencing a long term impact to your mental health.
Once you have identified the things that make you feel good, you can start to build a toolkit of strategies to take care of yourself depending on what the need may be, and the time you are able to take. For example, you may want to explore wellbeing activities you can do on the go, or in just a few minutes for when you cannot get time to yourself. You may also start to plan to take some respite, where you can take a break from your caring role to recharge.
Here are few ideas of wellbeing activities which the carers in our community find helpful:
- Have a bath.
- Read a book.
- Watch an episode of a TV series or film.
- Spend time away from technology.
- Listen to calming music or nature sounds.
- Call a family member or friend.
- Attend a local carer or community group.
- Have a coffee in a local coffee shop.
- Take part in a team exercise or activity.
- Journalling or gratitude practice.
- Listen to a podcast.
- Buy yourself an affordable treat.
- Make a change in your home, like rearranging a shelf.
- Volunteer.
- Take part in your hobby or an activity you enjoy.
- Go to the gym or an exercise class.
- Take an exercise class at home.
- Take a walk.
- Go for a swim.
- Spend some time in the garden or in nature.
Another good way to maintain your wellbeing is to have a regular routine. This is because routines can often help people to feel more productive and include moments of self-care in their everyday lives. Some suggested ideas to build into a routine are:
- Keep good sleep pattern by going to bed and getting up at the same time every day.
- Start the day with the same 5 minute task – eg. making the bed and opening the curtains each morning to help you feel like you have achieved something.
- Maintain a good diet.
- Get dressed, brush your teeth and brush your hair every day so you feel like you have made an effort for yourself.
- Speak to someone else at least once a day to feel connected to those around you.
- Set achievable goals to help you feel productive each day.
If you think you need more support
If you think you might need more support to maintain your mental health as a carer, Carers First are here to help. We offer information, emotional support and advice. We also have a large carer community who offer support through our Facebook Group, online events, courses and local carer groups.