Supporting your child into adulthood
For individuals with additional needs, adult life can look very different to that of their peers. Whatever your child’s needs, this is a time of huge change, with new opportunities and responsibilities emerging, and as a parent carer, your role evolves into one of helping your child to meet their health and wellbeing needs as an adult whilst supporting them to be as independent as possible. Here's our guide on how to support your child's journey into adulthood, feeling supported yourself along the way.
Transitioning from children to adult services
When your child is approaching 18 years old, the Child Services Team who have been supporting you will transition your child’s care into Adult Social Care services. In 2014 The Care Act was introduced to ensure that someone’s care continues as seamlessly as possible, and in practice this means that your adult child will continue to receive the support they need in order to thrive and live as independently as they can.
As your young adult is transitioning between teams, you may find, if they are able, they are more involved in some of the decision-making around their needs and care.
Having conversations before they turn 18 about their desires for the future, their needs and how they might be met, and involving them in any decision-making processes will encourage them to start their steps toward independence.
Once they have turned 18, your young adult will receive a Needs Assessment which is completed by the adult social services team. This assessment will look different however, you can ask for previous assessments and existing EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plan) to be considered when thinking about the support that is needed. Following this assessment, your young adult will be given a specific care and support plan.
The transition to adult care involves many changes, and preparation for this is important. For example, consider if your child needs to say goodbye to staff and specific services they may have become used to over many years and the natural emotions for both of you that may arise and take time to process.
Many parent carers say that carer support groups, whether online or in-person, were invaluable for them at this time and a helpful, positive space to share, ask questions and learn from others’ experiences during this significant transition.
Practically speaking, there will be changes to your child’s daily routine as they access different care centres and support groups, activities and therapy sessions, meeting new people along the way. As you prepare for these changes as a family, visiting new spaces and meeting new teams to become familiar with them in advance goes a long way to easing the transition.
Many parent carers say that working in partnership with your child’s existing support teams to focus on building the extra life skills they will need is a great idea. Colleges, day centres and support organisations can also offer helpful courses for young people with additional needs.
Gradually building up essential life skills over time is the best way to support your child so they feel as independent as possible; you could both create a handy booklet or folder that includes instructions for everyday routines and weekly or monthly tasks, favourite recipes, shopping lists and any contact details they might need. You can also support them by increasing their responsibilities at home to increase their confidence and ability to take on tasks independently.
Young people with EHCPs are entitled to stay in full-time education until they are 25, and if your child has SEN and wants to pursue a particular interest or career path, they will be entitled to receive the support they need through SEN support.
As you may have done at other times of educational transition, exploring the most suitable school, college or training programme to help your child achieve their goals and express their fullest potential will be essential.
When someone turns 18, significant legal changes occur, and these need to be considered about finances, care and capacity to make decisions.
At 18, if your child has the capacity and is able, they will become fully responsible for decisions regarding their care. If they have complete understanding and ‘capacity’ to make decisions regarding their welfare but would still like support, your child can appoint you as their attorney. This means you can help them make decisions in the short or long term. If you or a professional feel that your child does not have sufficient capacity to consent or manage their affairs, then there are steps you can take as their parent carer to continue making decisions in their best interest.
You can apply to be a deputy, acting for your adult child. You would manage your child’s bills and finances as a property and financial affairs deputy. You would decide about their medical treatment and personal care as a personal welfare deputy. You can apply to be both. Becoming a deputy is ongoing, and you will be asked to complete a deputy report to the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG) each year explaining the decisions you've made on your child’s behalf.
If your child receives certain benefits, you can act as their appointee, meaning that you’ll receive their benefits for them. You can make claims on their behalf and be responsible for keeping relevant departments informed of any changes to your child’s circumstances.
There may also be changes to your child's finances, including the finances relating to their care. For example, they may choose to receive direct payments for their care. Learning how to budget and manage money will be an area of focus for many young people. Other young adults may need support in managing their income.
Making the most of your support network and drawing on positive partnerships will be essential for you now. Collaborating with educators and career advisors can support you if your young adult child wants to explore vocational training or employment opportunities.
Together you might explore ideas, work experience opportunities, and placements and understand what support might be available in the workplace. Planning for the future might also involve exploring independent living options, such as supported housing, shared living arrangements, or residential care.
The transition to adulthood is about your child taking steps towards greater independence in the ways that are appropriate for them and for you as a family. Noting that the transition from adolescence to adulthood is a journey over time rather than something that happens all at once on their 18th birthday, there are systems and support to ensure this transition feels as smooth as possible.
You are not alone on this journey, and resources and communities are ready to offer guidance and support throughout the process. Taking time to acknowledge any difficult feelings, to share worries with a trusted friend or within a support group for other parent carers, and to seek support from other professionals if you feel overwhelmed, is important and will ensure that everybody’s needs - not just those of your young adult child - are met.