Sarifa*, 48, cares for her oldest daughter, 21. Her daughter had a diagnosis of learning difficulties at 3 years old and autism when she was 12.
For years, Sarifa never thought of herself as a carer but as a mother. It was comparing her daughter with her friend’s children as they grew up that made her realise she was also a carer.
“I looked around and saw that other kids were independent, and I thought she cannot do that. She still needs me to help her wash, dress and know stranger danger.”
Sarifa cannot be spontaneous, she needs to plan everything ahead of time. She has no privacy and even when she goes into the bathroom, her daughter is there. Because of her autism, her daughter will ask Sarifa the same questions over and over. Sarifa finds it emotionally draining.
“You as a carer are getting older. You are still doing the same things when they were young, and you were young. But the responsibility is more.”
Since registering with her local carers organisation, Carers First, she has received ongoing emotional and practical support. Her Carer Support Adviser has offered a listening ear for her when she has felt down and needed a boost. She has received practical help including a grant to replace her washing machine. She would have struggled to afford this otherwise. She has also joined meals out with other carers, giving her a much needed break.
Carers First also introduced Sarifa to Carefree. Carefree offer short breaks at minimal cost for full-time unpaid carers in need of some time off.
On hearing about Carefree, Sarifa says, “I thought all my prayers had been answered.”
Sarifa did worry how she could leave her daughter for a few days. But, with determination and planning, she was able to figure it out. This included having a carer come into support her husband with her daughter’s personal care.
Sarifa booked a two-night Carefree break away with a good friend. Arriving at the hotel, she was able to relax and unwind. It made all the hard work planning the break worth it.
“It was an amazing feeling, knowing we were away and I could have a good night’s sleep, not have to worry and do all the chores.”
Sarifa encourages other carers to book their Carefree break.
“It may take some effort to organise but it’s so worth it. It will give you a chance to know yourself again.”
Carers First is part of the Carers Trust network. This supports carers through a unique network of local carers organisations. Find your local carer organisation by visiting: https://carers.org/help-and-info/carer-services-near-you
* Name changed to protect privacy
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