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Kim's Story as a Working Carer

Published
16/11/23

Kim was a carer for her husband, Brian, with terminal cancer.

Kim works as Prison Officer at HMP Lincoln. When we first spoke to Kim, she wanted to remain in work but was struggling to juggle caring with work and felt powerless to ask for support. 

With support from Carers First, Kim recognised the need to care for herself. She is now a Carer Champion at work helping other carers and driving positive change for carers employed within the prison service. 

Kim explained:“Feeling I was being pulled in all different directions, I had no time to myself. My work meant that I did not have the option of compassionate leave – as I would have to work back any time taken off - which just added to the pressure, and I did not want to give up my job.” 

With her husband’s terminal condition progressing and wanting to make the most of her time with him, Kim looked for support from her employer in the hope of having more flexibility around her working hours to allow her to spend time with her husband and family. 

“My frustrations around my employment situation were high, but equally I did not want to leave Brian for periods of time with no care. I wanted to be able to care for Brian, support my children as much I could, stay in employment, whilst also highlighting the issues unpaid carers face at work.” 

Carers First was able to support Kim in meetings at her work to explore paid leave, options to work from home, or a temporary move to a closer location and were invited back to the prison to start discussing the support available for carers in Lincolnshire and nationally.  

Brian’s prognosis then changed. 

“My biggest fear was Brian passing and me not being by his side. Throughout my working day, I was very emotional, I was falling asleep at work, and everyone was concerned for my health and wellbeing. I had hit ‘carer breaking point’ and was struggling to remain strong and positive.

I couldn’t afford to be ill or lose my job and I needed some solutions to help with my now full-time caring role".

With information and support from Amanda, a Carers Support Adviser at Carers First, Kim became more aware of her mental health deteriorating as the days and weeks went by.  

“I was reaching a crisis point and needed to feel back in control. I’ve learned that I needed to be positive and take one day at a time.

To ask for advice, guidance and support when needed and the recognise the importance of maintaining my own mental health and wellbeing as well as my husband's. I was signed off work by my GP which enabled me to spend time with my husband in his precious final months.” 

Following the bereavement of her husband, Kim wanted to improve how carers are recognised and supported in her workforce.

“Brian passed away with his family by his side in mid-November. I was facing new challenges, trying to cope with the loss of Brian. Together with my son, we’ve began bereavement counselling.”  

Kim began a phased return to work in April 2022 and expressed an interest in being a Carer Champion when she returned to normal duties HMP Lincoln, wanting to make positive change in carer policies within the prison service.  

She is now the main carer champion within Lincoln prison and a key member of the Ministry of Justice team working on the pilot project and future role out of information across the UK to support working carers. 

“I can’t thank Carers First, my managers and colleagues enough for helping me through all of this, the support has been overwhelming. Knowing I have this support is helping me through this difficult situation I am in. I also know that by doing the right things now, it is helping me to move forward.” 

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