"Carers First has really helped me get used to and come to terms with the changes that have happened in my household"
From the age of around six, my younger brother had been living in full time care due to his complex needs, returning home in the August of 2019. My brother, now twelve, is autistic and epileptic. His condition makes it hard for me to understand his mentality and thinking process but because my mum works in childcare, she understands him better. However, there are times when not even my mum understands where he is coming from, and that sometimes leads into my brother becoming agitated, which my mum cannot deal with by herself, so I get the opportunity to help her which also in turn helps my brother.
I found out about the Young Carers service through a friend at school who is also a carer for their brother with Autism. I registered with Carers First and began attending their events and activities. I have since made more friends through attending the young carer activities, some who also attend the same school, and who I didn’t know before. Through conversations with other friends at school, I have also found that others have caring roles and experiences and I make sure I tell them about Carers First and how they have helped me.
"Because of my brother's condition, I sometimes find it hard to understand his thinking and mentality, and sometimes I feel I can't handle it"
Carers First has really helped me get used to and come to terms with the changes that have happened in my household. For six years it was just me and my mum, but now that my younger brother has come home it is a bit different and we have had to change the everyday thing we do to fit around him. Because of my brother’s condition, I sometimes find it hard to understand his thinking and mentality, and sometimes I feel I can’t handle it. I find that attending the young carer activities with Carers First is something that helps me wind down and have space away from the stress. The monthly meet ups and the lunch clubs always help me when it comes to speaking to people about how I feel and how this new role has affected me, it also helps me make friends with people that are going through either the same thing or a similar thing. Ever since joining the Carers First Young Carers community, I have made a lot more friends that I can talk to without having to explain the whole story to them again. Thanks to the Young Carers Team at Carers First, I am able to get that much-needed time away from my caring role and have some time to relax and hang out with my friends.
During the lockdown periods, young carers were not able to meet up like we usually would do and that made me sad because I missed everyone, but the amazing Medway Young Carers team made a group chat for all the young carers so that we could stay in touch during this challenging time. I really appreciated that because it can get stressful being stuck in the house 24/7 and not being able to get out. Being able to go to my room and message the group chat and actually get a reply made me really happy and helped me get on with my day. Some of the groups are still online which continues to make me feel less alone and that I have someone to talk to. I know that my mum can get stressed out as well, so me attending the groups helps her to have some one-to-one time with my brother. Caring can be hard, but I believe it has set me up for my future as I would like to work with children who are mentally challenged as I understand trigger and warning signs and feel I can engage effectively with children with autism. I am the Head girl at my dance school, and due to my teachers noticing how well I interacted with the children who have Autism, I was delighted when I was asked to help out with the younger classes which have two children with autism.
The biggest challenge for me right now is getting back out and seeing people. It’s nice, but different, leaving mum with my brother again.
We are also now fast approaching Christmas. As a carer, I enjoy Christmas time as everything is more chilled out. My mum loves to decorate the tree, do lots of cooking and go to church festive activities. As my mum enjoys Christmas, my brother feeds off her good energy and everything just seems a lot calmer. On Christmas eve we have a family games night, and we go to church on Christmas morning. We all love and value Christmas as a family, and this is a very important time for us; spending time with family and remembering why our religion is important to us. My favourite Christmas song is by Francesca Batistelli - Heaven Everywhere as I feel this song resonates with me and what we as a family have been through.
"Carers First has really helped me to feel less alone and know I have someone to talk to"
I have also enjoyed previous Christmas activities with our Young Carers monthly meet up group and I’m looking forward to attending a Christmas event this year as the last one was before the pandemic. We made gingerbread snowmen Santa’s, snow globes and Christmas cards which brought out our creative side and then after we went to Wetherspoons for lunch.
I would encourage anyone who is a young carer to register with Carers First and find out about the groups and activities on offer. It has really helped me to feel less alone and know I have someone to talk to.
Moraiah tells us about her caring role and the support she has received from Carers First.
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